So I left my course. My course was graphic design but the combination of course and place meant I didn't find it challenging or very inspiring and to continue to pay a lot of money for it wasn't the right thing.
Hence I did do the right thing and left, leaving me here spending a lot of time creating work and spending even more time in an empty room.
This is what I am struggling to process and I don't know how long it is going to take. I've always tried to work hard in the things that I do and I always try to be nice to everybody. You think that if you just try with things and try to make yourself into a good person, that you'll get somewhere.
I find it difficult sometimes to get up when just sleeping all day would be the same for the world. Theres such a nothingness now outside of creating art or skateboarding. In moments of productivity or entertainment, you don't feel like there is nothing else because you're not looking at the empty space. It's when you might be too tired, you even might have just finished a piece of work and look up.
Still, I'm creating a lot of stuff. I'd be completely fucked if I didn't.
I just a lot of the time think-come on. It's rubbish but it's human just to be like-really, something good has to happen. I'm doing everything I can and maybe I just have to wait.
If you were flipping a coin and every time calling it wrong you'd start to think you'd never get it right. That is barely possible but you're still going to think it, as a person.
What I'm doing now is trying again with the things I need to get right. I've applied to five universities. With that and some other things I think what I'm going to do is just what I've always been doing, be nice and just try.
I find the things that a lot of people find easy really difficult. I think that we always find ourselves wishing for the things that we don't have even though we know wishing won't get us them.
I've applied to Bournemouth, Portsmouth, Winchester School of Art, Brighton and the University for the Arts London. My application had to be sorted after most of the open days had passed, although I managed to look into each of my choices. I've been to visit Portsmouth so far and I really liked the place and the course sounded good. I could see myself living quite happy down there.
Next up for me is checking out all of the other ones, getting a portfolio together, keep creating, keep learning, keep skating and keep trying even when sometimes I feel like it won't make a difference, because maybe it might some time.
I have just checked the clock thing here and it's christmas in two days.
I think I'm going to be able to sleep alright now.
Here is my art page: https://www.facebook.com/ArtistPhotographerWillClare
If you're reading this and want to go and like it, it would be really awesome for me. You can also tweet at me if you're feeling like it any time, my thing is @downhillwill. It might make a small or big part of my day.
Have a good christmas.
Will.
No comments:
Post a Comment