I'm spending most of my time now putting together my portfolio. It's tricky to judge what should go in because if I know I can do better with a piece of work now, I struggle a bit to want to include it. I know though if I redo everything firstly it wouldn't have been created during the project it was part of (if indeed it was part of a project), and secondly I have to have the thing actually ready on time so I couldn't really.
One of the good things is that I think I can talk quite in depth about the work, because I put a lot of time into it. Yeah partly the time spent doing art is to not think, the contentment when I'm creating something wears off kind of quick when the thinking comes back. I mean theres a list really. I want to make myself into a better person that I actually like and through that get the happiness and self belief that I can do stuff, and things are going to be cool. I know whatever it sounds all messed up but when I feel down it's just because I feel like a bit of a rubbish person. And then you get a bit "this isn't how it should be, I want to be one of those other people."
Anyway, what I think is that this preparing a portfolio and going to interviews will be good for me. Like I really think it's a good step in the right direction of being the kind of person I want to be. Portsmouth, Bournemouth, Winchester, and we'll see where and what is next.
I think, in terms of the stuff I can do, which is try hard and try to get better, there's not really anything more than that you can do.
So we'll see how they go! The third offer stressing out was less than the second and hugely less than the first (yeah there was a date messup involved ;)) so thats cool. Right now I'm going to try and get to sleep at a reasonable time and get out of bed quicker. I need like a wallace and gromit tipping bed thing.
I hope you are all doing excellently in the land of the internet, wherever you are. Have a good thursday!
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